So, I guess this is where the blog gets a bit personal and I say goodbye to my Womens Studies project.
The point of university is to grow up; to expand your horizons; to become the person you weren’t all through high school and your earlier life. What I’ve realized is that it is sometimes very hard to do that with so many markers of your past staring you in the face, unresolved, day in and day out. For me, it was having the Queen’s campus crawling with people I know from highschool, with former paramours, with people from first year I’d rather forget. It also involved having a life path that I thought was set out from the second I got to Queen’s. BAH in Politics, 175 on the LSAT, Law School.
However, much like finally shedding my former attachment to those high school flames wandering around campus, I’ve started to wonder if my previous plans are about to be shed as well. Sure, I am spending my summer writing the LSAT and spending my fourth consecutive summer working at the same law firm at home, but I’m starting to think that law may not be for me. This year, I’ve gotten to explore the less obvious applications of my politics degree – how politicians are portrayed in the media, why people vote the way they do, why people vote at all. I’ve realized that although I may make a wonderful lawyer, a life of shuffling papers and arguing about minute civil cases, defending criminals, or aiding angry divorcees might not be the best thing for me.
What’s the point? I’m not quite sure. I guess my main realization is that eventually the spark fizzles out and that thing you were clinging to eventually disappears. What’s left in it’s place is a blank slate.