Cosmic Identity Crisis

I love to be the centre of attention.  I’m ambitious, passionate and love to talk.  I’m a little lavish and dislike the ordinary.  To anyone who’s a zodiac buff, it’s obvious what sign I fall under.  However, I was informed this morning that I am not, in fact, a Leo.  Instead, I’m a Cancer. (Full disclosure: I’m actually on the cusp, but tend to be more on the Leo side)

Apparently all of my friends and the Twitterati got the memo as well.  My feeds have been riddled with questioning, confused and defiant updates all day long.  What gives?

According to various news sources, a 13th zodiac sign has been discovered, throwing everything we once believed out of whack.  This new kid on the block has essentially pushed everyone back one step on the zodiac continuum and has reduced Scorpio to merely 6 days (sorry).

The Star Tribune reports that the following are the new guidelines:

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16. Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11. Pisces: March 11-April 18. Aries: April 18-May 13. Taurus: May 13-June 21. Gemini: June 21-July 20. Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10. Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16. Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30. Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23. Scorpio: Nov. 23-29. Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17. Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

Funnily enough, this entire story appears to be attributed to the findings of one man: Parke Kunkle.  Kunkle, board member at the Minnesota Planetarium Society and an instructor of astronomy at Minneapolis Community and Technical College, flooded the press with his notions today, throwing many into a cosmic meltdown.  The big red flag in my head began waving when I realized each article I could find on the subject contained the exact same information and quotes from one man.

From a lioness to a crab? No thanks!

Since we’ve all become so accustomed to absorbing whatever information comes our way, often without ensuring it passes the smell test, I’m not surprised that so many were whipped into a frenzy today.  However, I urge everyone to remember those cardinal rules of essay writing:

1. Look for peer-reviewed sources
2. Ensure you have a diverse number of sources for your paper, from different individuals or insitutions

It must have been a really slow news day, since so many journalists took the story at face value and printed it without showcasing the other angle.

Luckily for you, I did. And so did a few savvy journalists.  Do not fret, friends. Your zodiac sign is safe. You’re still of the same astrological persuasion as when you woke up this morning.  What I’m curious about now is when Kunkle’s book/TV show/podcast/etc is launching.  Clearly there was some motive beyond throwing everyone off their collective zodiac pedestals when he released this “new” information.

This girl is sticking by her original sign.  Sure, it’s possible that I identify as a Leo because I’ve managed to conform my personality to what I’ve been reading my birthdate means for the last 15 years or so.  It’s also possible that there’s something to all that kooky horoscope and zodiac stuff.  Either way, an astronomer from Minneapolis who appears to be standing alone isn’t going to change my beliefs – even if my horoscope swore orange was my lucky colour & I lost $40 at the casino even though I was wearing it.

Yes, I read Tarot cards, too.

What do you think? Was this just a clever PR move by a previously-obscure astronomer or is there possibly some truth to it?  Are you sticking with your original zodiac sign or will you conform to the new “rules”? Let me know in the comments!

Looking for more? Check out these articles:

The Star Tribune (the piece that started it all)