The 5 People You Meet When You Get Engaged

They say all good things must come to an end. For the newly-engaged (or soon-to-be-married), there’s a relatively short window of endless gushing and excitement over your impending nuptials. As the window begins to close (we made it about a month), certain personalities begin to creep out of the woodwork. Yes, there’s excitement and anticipation…but other emotions also begin to rear their heads in a more obvious way. My advice to you? Try not to take it to heart. Without further ado….

How people act when you get engaged

The 5 People You Meet When You Get Engaged

*with files from Amanda Burcul

The Invitation Angler

Everybody loves a wedding. Once you get engaged, people you haven’t spoken to in years, people you’ve never been close to and friends-of-friends suddenly become very interested in your every wedding plan. They’ve always imagined what your wedding would be like (beautiful, of course!) and are so excited for your big day. There’s just one problem – you’re pretty sure you’re not inviting them. The Invitation Angler usually means well – they just want to be at your wedding. Whether subtle or overt, you’re guaranteed to encounter more than a few of these along the way.

“I’m not even engaged but I always get distant cousins and friends I haven’t seen in years saying things like ‘I can’t wait to see what your wedding’s going to be like! Should be a great one!’ even though we rarely see each other.”

Fishing for compliments or invites: not very becoming

Fishing for compliments or invites: not very becoming

The Wedding Planner

The Wedding Planner may or may not be an Invitation Angler. One thing’s for certain – if a wedding is happening, they know just the thing to suggest. The Wedding Planner may be a friend who’s a bit wedding-obsessed (guilty on all counts) or a friend who has connections in the events-planning industry. Let The Wedding Planner help you out and make some suggestions – they’re cheerful, excited and probably have your best interests at heart. If it becomes too much, let them know you want to take on a bit more of the planning yourself. The Wedding Planner may just become your closest wedding ally – always up for the next wedding show or magazine-thumbing session.

Pro tip: start a joint Pinterest board with your Closeted Wedding Planners.

Pro tip: start a joint Pinterest board with your Wedding Planners.

The Jealous Bitch

Where there is bling, there will be drama. Nothing makes the cat fur fly like an engagement, so gird your loins and prepare for The Jealous Bitch to emerge. She may start off by innocently congratulating you and blow (sweetly scented) smoke, but she’ll turn at the drop of a hat. The Jealous Bitch is an inevitable part of your engagement – everybody wants what they can’t have, whether it’s the ring, the guy, the wedding, the experience. Make the most of yours and try not to get caught up in their drama. Feel free to exact revenge (or at least consider the value of a Google AdWords campaign in a brainstorming session with your coworkers) dependent on how far she goes.

“A girl started spreading rumours that my fiancé didn’t purchase the ring himself and instead had his future father-in-law chip in. Who would even consider that a guy didn’t shell out for an engagement ring himself? Isn’t that the whole point of cementing a lifelong commitment with a personal investment?” (Note: eschewing anonymity here, but this actually happened to me. Yes, you probably know who did this. No, we aren’t actually doing the AdWords thing.)

gollum-one-ring

The Selfish/Assumed Bridesmaid

Our panel had a bit of trouble with this one. In the pre-planning stages of your wedding, you may find yourself with certain girlfriends competing for a spot in your bridal party. These are The Assumed Bridesmaids – for whatever reason (real or imagined), they’re pretty sure they’re on the list, even if you haven’t decided yet. They’re planning to be involved at every step of the way. Once you actually choose your bridal party, you’ll likely encounter The Selfish Bridesmaid. You’ve seen her at weddings before – drunk, sloppy, disrespectful – but you never thought one of your friends could become her. Think again. The Selfish Bridesmaid might “forget” to attend your bridal shower, could make outrageous demands in terms of her attire/appearance or might even drop out of the wedding completely. It’s all about her. NOTE: The Selfish Bridesmaid can also take on the role of Selfish Family Member. You know the drill: sisters of sisters in law gone wild (trying on your dress, stealing attention, etc).

“A friend of a friend got married this year. Her maid of honour forgot to invite half the people she wanted at her bachelorette, didn’t offer to help with the shower, requested the dress be altered because she wanted to show off her legs and, to top it all off, got plastered drunk at the couple’s stag & doe…leaving the bride to carry her home.”

Payback for bitchy bridesmaids - 80's-style dresses (note: these are not bitchy bridesmaids)

Payback for bitchy bridesmaids – 80’s-style dresses (note: these are not bitchy bridesmaids)

The Genuinely Happy Friend

The majority of people will be genuinely happy for you. You can’t help but love love (unless you’re one of the 3 bordering-on-or-actually-crazy personalities listed above). From the friend who shows up with piles of wedding mags to the guy who may as well be volunteering to be your MOH since he’s so excited to the future mother-in-law who remembers your favourite flowers and insists they be at your parties, the support you’ll receive is immense. Hang on to these people and let them remind you how excited you are to be engaged during the tough moments. Oh, and try to be the Genuinely Happy Friend (or the Closeted Wedding Planner) if you can. Karma.

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HumberPR ladies – the combination Genuinely Happy Friend x Wedding Planner every girl dreams about

Yes, this is tongue-in-cheek. Take it with a giggle and a grain of salt….but remember the stories are true. 

Thank you to everyone who shared their stories with us! Have a good/bad one you can’t help but share? Leave it in the comments.

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  • Marbair

    This made me laugh. I’ve been a bridesmaid 10 times so I’ve seen it all. I have yet to be a bride but I think you are spot on with some of those descriptions! Surround yourself with the genuinely happy friends and blog followers because celebrating you engagement shouldn’t be a short window, you should be able to enjoy it right up until the wedding day!

  • Very sorry to hear about the story behind #3, Steph. Why must people be so vindictive and cruel?

  • Shannon Kelly

    This friend is genuinely happy, especially for more DIY projects 😉

  • Robyn Baldwin

    OH this is all too true

  • savvari

    What about the genuinely happy for you Twitter friend/acquaintance? LOL

  • Chelsea Cardoso

    LOL I loved the inclusion of Gollum!!

  • cooleen_s

    This is a great post….I think I turn into the Wedding Planner and am always terrified I’m being super annoying. 🙂 Weddings are just so great!

  • JennMUA

    Loved this post!
    Jealous bitch made me laugh!!